“Who do you think you are?”
Impostor syndrome refers to an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. Internal experience – the files you have written in your head.
Listen to the language – internal, experience, believing,
We receive over 147 newspapers worth of information daily. Our brain can’t take that much information in, so it deletes, distorts and generalises information, and only allows through what it thinks you want to see, what you have been focusing on.
I am sure you have all experienced this, you want to buy a new car, you chose a red one as nobody has a red car, as soon as you walk out the showroom what happens? You see red cars everywhere! You have alerted your mind to the fact that red cars are important to you, so your mind allows these to go through your filter.
And it’s the same with Imposter syndrome, when you start to question yourself, your ability, your talents and capabilities guess what your mind will show you evidence to prove what you believe, as it is using the filters to share with you only what is important to you, and in this instance it’s all negative.
Also, we learn in 2 different ways. We learn consciously and we learn unconsciously. So, if things pop into your head or you feel like you are winging it, you’re not. You have learned these things but you are not consciously aware that you have. So as long as you are not lying then you are not an imposter. Other people believe in you, and if you are good enough for them then you are good enough for yourself.
This may resonate with some of you and others might think I am a bit mad. But if you believe in past life’s and your soul moving from person to person, you may have learned things in a past life and they are helping you today.
When I started coaching, I found coaching easy, I found that things would pop into my head without me knowing where they came from, but instead of questioning how I know these things, I just accept that I do.
This is because I have
47 years of living
Hours and hours and hours of studying
Years of reading books
Loads of hands-on training.
This is where my knowledge and expertise has come from.
There is no such thing as imposter syndrome, you just need to change the narrative in your head and this is how you can do that;
- List all of your achievements, everything that you have achieved in your life both personal and professional – we are so good at reminding ourselves about things that we can’t do, we forget what we have done. What we have achieved, so write them down, not only will you realise that you have achieved a lot but is will show you that you are not an imposter. You do have the skills and qualifications to run your business and to grow your business to the next level, you have just forgotten about them and have been focusing on the negative instead.
- What are other people are saying about you, think about all the positive comments your family and friends have said, and write them down. Don’t just dismiss them as comments, if people are telling you positive things, then they mean it. Write then down and if you are having a bad day read them. It will make you feel so much better.
- Gratitude jar – when things go well write them down and add them to the jar, when you are feeling a bit glum pull them out and read them. Gratitude is so important.
- Accept the fact that you will fail, but you won’t die from it. Think of the times that you have failed, what was the worst thing that happened? Did you die? No. If you are not failing you are not learning, you are not growing and your business won’t grow.
- Have a mantra that you say to yourself – talk to yourself in the 3rd person “Yvonne you are an amazing person.” Keep saying this to yourself.
- Accept the mistake and let it go, we make mistakes we are human, just let it go, don’t allow it to go round and round in your head. You can’t change a mistake but you can learn from it, take the learning and let it go.
These techniques help you to re-write the files in your head.
However, if you would like further support and you feel that something is holding you and your business back and it needs to be dealt with quickly, then please get in touch.
NLP enables me to work with you to fix the issues that are holding you back, we can fix these issues in either 3, 6 or 13hrs worth of coaching. This is why I love NLP it is quick and effective.
Message me to arrange a free 30-minute consultation